The Road Hardly Traveled: How I Became A Family Photographer

No Mom With A Camera For Me

It’s rare these days that a family photographer, especially a Mommy and Me photographer, does not have her own kids. But I came to appreciate motherhood, children and all the sacrifices and turmoil that goes with it as a teacher. A special education teacher. And more, a special education teacher in the inner cities of Los Angeles.

I’ll be honest. I did NOT dream of being a teacher as a kid. In fact, my aspirations were far, far afield. I wanted to be…..wait for it….a baraoque cellist. Yep. you read that correctly. As a tween, I thought the years 1600 to 1750 or so were the greatest that had ever happened. With supportive and tolerant parents, I was escorted to record stores in Pasadena CA where they purchased for me every relevant Deutsche Grammophon recording I could carry. I discovered the harpsichord, The Brandenburg Concertos and counterpoint. I was in heaven.

From Music Conservatory to Inner City Classroom

I spent the next 10 years studying with the former first cellist under Toscanini when Toscanini led the NBC studio orchestra. Cesare Pascarella was my cello instructor from my tweens all the way through my stint at Cal Arts. He lived in the acclaimed Hollywood Hills in a house from times past. It was filled with all kinds of amazing Italian renaissance art. Since I spent so much time here, there is no doubt I was exposed to elements that would (decades later) influence my Mommy and Me Portraiture.

What happened to my dream you ask? The competition happened and I got my arse kicked. That’s what. I studied hard and I became an adequate cellist. You know, good enough to do garden wedding music, women’s clubs luncheons, stuff like that. The brutal reality was that “accomplished” was not enough in the competitive world of Baroque Cello Performance. You had to be exceptional. I wasn’t. (Fade to black).

I’ll be honest again and tell you that most teachers in LAUSD who I met did not dream of being a teacher either. Teaching served as this huge safety net; something that people who had lost out on a dream came to really appreciate. Teaching is the paragon of “Plan B” careers.

Universal Motherhood

When I announced to my family that I would be teaching special education in some of the toughest schools in the country, it was not popular. My liberal and tolerant semi -Hippie parents were not keen on their daughter trudging to and working in the bowels of inner city Los Angeles schools. It seems Tolerance has a precipice and I had reached my parents’ limits. “Those moms down there don’t care”, my family bellowed. “You’re wasting your time”.

I ended up spending a lot of years teaching. 18 to be exact. And in that time, I saw many social problems, inequities and political red tape. In the early 2000s, LAUSD had over 144 languages represented amongst their students. Diversity was the name of the game. I came upon and saw traditions and belief systems that jarred my own ethical threshold and caused me to re evaluate. I saw every form of parenting imaginable; every reaction to frustration and concern, every strategy a mom could think of to help her child learn and develop.

What I learned is that on the whole, Motherhood is tough for every mom out there. She sacrifices, tries and fails sometimes, adapts and keeps going. I learned that Love, capital L has an expanded meaning within Motherhood. Mom is the main guide for kids, she is the one they call for, the one who soothes and counsels. As a teacher watching this, I was reminded of the elaborate Baroque melodies I admired in my youth. I saw Motherhood as an apt metaphor for these musical conversations about Love. “Maybe”, I thought, “Maybe, there is something here to investigate artistically”. (Camera Enters Stage Right)

Are you interested in having Mommy and Me Portraits made of you and your kids?

How I Became A Child Portrait Photographer

How Did You Become A Fine Art Photographer?

There is one question virtually all my clients ask me. And for the last 5 years, I have avoided the real answer because I felt it would ruin the whole portrait experience.

But after 9 months of COVID-19, the time seems better to talk about it. So I am going to. This story is sad; that is my warning to you in advance. But it is the reason I am here making the fine art photos I do. And it is the reason I focus so much on Mother-Child legacy images.

I taught special education for Los Angeles Unified for many years. MOST of that time, my students were what they used to call “learning disabled”. This meant that health wise, they were basically fine. But when it came to learning, life was a lot harder for them than their peers. There were years when I was a travelling teacher; when I did not have my own classroom, but instead moved from class to class to offer support. Some years, I had my own classroom and my students were with me virtually all day. Most would have special services like speech therapy or counseling for 20 minutes here and there. But for the most part, we were all together.

Reggie: Teacher’s Pet

I think any classroom teacher will admit to you that teachers have favorites. It is hard to avoid.; 6 hours a day together for 180 days, you get to know one another well. And while we are trained to NOT show favoritism, in our hearts, we have students we connect deeply with.

Reggie was that student for me. He was a fourth grader, aged 10. He had a a smile that would have taken him far in life. He was one of those kids, I don’t know, he just “had it”; personality, ability, charm, smarts, humor, good looks, insight. And although learning to read was not his strong suit, he had so many other assets, I think he would have been a very successful man.

One exchange I remember vividly happened in the classroom. He came up to my desk, out of the blue and asked, “Teacher, how old are you”?

In those days, I tended to just answer my students’ questions. Not because it was right or wrong but because it was easier than resisting. I was annoyed, and it showed as I looked back at him,

“40”, I replied.

Then Reggie flashed that huge contagious smile and quipped, “You mean like a 40 Year Old Virgin”?” (For those of you who don’t know, that was relatively recent film at the time).

All at once a roar of laughter exploded and hush came over the class of other students ooohing and awing wondering if Reggie was “in trouble”. All I could do is laugh. Because, it was funny, hilarious even. I don’t know if he actually knew my age in advance. He could easily have because he paid attention and listened to things around him. Reggie had set the whole thing up perfectly, like a professional set up guy on stage.

When a teacher admits to a kid that what he did was funny even at her own expense, a bond is formed. There is an understanding, a respect between teacher and student that is rare. Even with 10 year olds. Reggie could be very difficult to manage in class. I won’t deny that. But in spite of that, there was an understanding between us. He was my favorite; teacher’s pet.

Grief And Artistic Motivation

As is obvious to you now, I liked Reggie. No question he was that ONE special kid that year.

A couple of weeks after the “virgin” incident, Reggie collapsed on the playground and died. Just like that. Gone. I was one of those special ed teachers who spent most breaks on the playground with my students just to put out fires, and prevent situations from happening. But on that disastrous day, I was in the teacher’s lounge.

I ran out to the yard against orders from my principal and stood as close to Reggie as I could without interfering with the paramedics. It broke my heart that he was so ill, maybe dying, among strangers and that no one he knew was nearby. I called to him to let him know I was near as the medics worked on him. Of course, I’ll never know it it made a difference for him. But it did so for me.

Healing From Loss

When a child dies, it is tough to recover. After Reggie, things changed for me. I never got over it and I was never the same. I ended up leaving the profession a couple of years later. It was then that photography became a priority for me. Kids are my focus because they are amazing creatures. And I have to admit that I see a little bit of Reggie in almost all my clients. It’s also very clear to me that tomorrow is not promised. Any of us could go at anytime. So portraits matter. I care a lot that moms have portraits with their kids (Dads too, of course), but especially moms.

I can’t urge you enough, get those images you want now. You are not too fat or too old. Your hair is just fine. Your clothes are fine. Make time. Put the cost on a credit card if you have to. No excuse is important enough, because….you never know. You may not all be together next time.