Is My Baby Too Old For Studio Newborn Photos? 3 Things to Consider

Newborn photography is a relatively “new” discipline. The highly stylized poses, wrapping, and props is something that has come about as a genre in the last 20 years or so. But of course, moms have been taking baby pictures for a hundred years. A question I get a lot is “Is my baby too old” to come for photos. The answer is: it depends.

Do You Want Super Stylized Perfect Newborn Photos?

14 days old is a common cut off point for “best outcome” in studio newborn photos. Let me explain a couple of things so moms out there can get an idea of what this so-called deadline means. First, newborn photographers are artists at heart. They have their ideas of the kinds of images they want to create. These images will be used for their “book” (porfolio) and they will also be used for vanity. Of course we want our peers and potential clients to see the most astounding baby picures possible. For this to happen, the younger the baby the better. Babies under 10 days old sleep more deeply, are less aware of their surroundings and don’t wake up as much as older babies. They are also more easily posed. Everyone wants a newborn session that does not drag on for 5 hours. Under 10 days means faster, easier sessions and often competition quality images. The best possible world. If these kinds of images are your priority, then the 14 day deadline matters. A lot.

Second, this 14 day cut off does not apply to preemies. Babies born prematurely have their own timeline. Obviously, a literal 14 day deadline makes no sense if your baby is in the NICU until week 7 or 8. For me, my rule for preemie newborn photos is that the baby has to weigh 6 pounds. Whenever the baby meets that benchmark means they are good to go in term of photos.

Fine art level stylized and edited newborn images definitely are cool to have. No doubt. Of course we want the best. But in my experience, I have never had a mom disappointed if her baby was not able to be posed in ways to create those “Award Winning” images. Sure, if her baby can do all those adorable poses safely and comfortably, then they make magnificent memories. In short, the 14 day cut off for newborns is about time, ease and getting epic imagery. Those things are important, but if your baby is older than 14 days, you can still get gorgeous images. Maybe not as many, and it may take longer, but it is doable.

How Good Are You At Following Directions?

If your baby is an “older baby”, studio images are still possible at least up to 6 weeks old for full term babies. But here is the catch, you absolutely must follow the preparation guidelines your photographer gives you as much as you can while still following your health care professional’s directives. The two most important things, at least in my studio, are keeping the baby awake for 45 min to an hour before you arrive the session, and waiting to feed them until you arrive. If you can get to the studio with your baby a just little bit tired and hungry, (I know it sounds awful), once you feed them, it is likely they will fall into a deep sleep for at least 45 minutes; enough time to do at least 2 set ups . No one is asking you to withold food for too long, just a few extra minutes. This is one reason why finding a newborn portrait studio close to your home is best.

If you follow the preparation guidelines, your older baby has a good chance at getting a fantastic gallery of images. It sounds simple. but a lot of moms disregard the guidelines because they think their baby will “sleep through anything”. Sadly, in my experience, this is NOT true. Unprepared babies often are very difficult to settle and pose.

Do You Want In-Your-Home Lifestyle Photos?

All this talk about 14 days or younger only applies to images where the baby is posed. If posed baby pictures are not your thing, there is no age rule for your baby. Lifestyle photos are images taken in your home in a natural way. There may be some staging of your home to remove clutter, and some basic posing of family members. In most shots, you or someone will be hold the baby, or they will be in their own crib or bassinet.

Lifestyle images are overlooked sometimes as a lovely, emotional and authentic way to remember these early days with your new baby.

The 14 day rule only matters if you want a certain pose or styling to your images. Cetain features of a baby are harder to capture after this time. If you are open to your baby being wrapped and placed in a cute prop, or having their eyes open for many of the images, then you can still have studio newborn photos taken up to 4 weeks (at least in my book).

Are you ready to start thinking about newborn photos for your baby?

You may be interested in Must Know Secrets For Epic Maternity Photos

How to Create Lasting Memories With Your Kids in the Outdoors

Your child’s growing-up years will be a kaleidoscope filled with more precious moments than they can possibly remember every detail of. However, some memories are so impactful in a child’s life that they will be treasured forever. For whatever reason, times spent together in the outdoors are more indelible than most. Here are some ways to create cherished memories that will last you and your child a lifetime.

Go to the Beach

The magic of the beach is that it is for everyone. Even people who wouldn’t consider themselves the outdoorsy type love the beach. There is something about the deep blue of the skies, the timelessness of the sand, and the constant gentle motion of the ocean that create the perfect ambiance for mindfulness. 

It is in these mindful moments together that perfect moments turn into lasting memories. The most important thing is to engage with your kids. Don’t hand them a bucket, tell them to go play, and then turn to your novel. Build sand castles, splash in the waves, and look for shells together.

Take Them Camping

Camping never fails to deliver lasting memories. Either everything goes wrong and you can laugh about how miserable it was, or it is perfect and brings back nostalgic feelings every time you think about it. 

Camping also provides an excellent opportunity to teach your kids vital skills such as fire making, first aid, and orienteering. It’s also a great time to teach important life skills, such as courtesy and respect. You can teach your kids to be responsible campers by cleaning trash and extinguishing your fires. 

Play With Them in the Backyard

You might think that lasting memories are only made during major events such as family vacations or trips. However, a kid doesn’t need a special destination to form happy memories with you. In fact, some of the best memories can happen in your own backyard. All it takes is a willingness to let go of your everyday stressors and truly connect with your kids. Think about your own magical moments with your parents. Chances are they happened when you were doing something simple together, like playing tag, throwing a ball, or jumping on the trampoline. 

There are ample studies which show that spending more time outdoors is good for both your physical and emotional health. It is also the perfect setting for making lasting memories with your kids. Your kids will be all grown up before you know it, so take every opportunity to spend focused time with them in the great outdoors!

Check out this article on ingredients to avoid in your child’s food!

What to Put Away in Your Home to Keep Your Child Out of Danger

As a parent, it is your responsibility to keep your child safe from harm. This means taking precautions to ensure that they are not in danger when they are at home. There are many things you can do to make your home safe for your child, and one of the most important is to put away dangerous items. 

Be sure to look out for these three things you should put away to keep your child out of danger!

Small Objects

One hidden danger in many homes is the presence of small objects. Young children are curious and adventurous, and they may put anything they can find into their mouths. As a result, small objects such as beads, coins, and buttons can pose a serious choking hazard. In addition, small objects can also be swallowed and cause internal blockages. 

To protect your child from these dangers, it is important to keep small objects out of reach. One way to do this is to empty your pockets before entering the house and to store small items in containers with tight-fitting lids. By taking these simple steps, you can help to keep your child safe from the dangers of small objects.

Cords

Cords are one of the many dangers that can be found in the home. They are often left out in the open, and children can easily grab onto them and pull them down. This can cause serious injury or even death. The best way to keep your child safe is to put away cords. 

You should shorten or secure blind cords so your child doesn’t grab onto them. you should also unplug appliances when they’re not in use, and put away any cords that are not in use. By taking these simple precautions, you can help keep your child safe from harm.

Cemical

Children are naturally curious creatures, and they often put things in their mouths without knowing any better. As a result, it's important to keep dangerous chemicals out of reach, to protect them from harm. One way to do this is to store all chemicals in a locked cupboard or cabinet. This will help to prevent your child from being able to access them, even if they're curious. Another way to keep your child safe is to use child-resistant packaging. This type of packaging is designed to be difficult for children to open, so it can help to deter them from getting into dangerous chemicals. Finally, always be sure to read labels carefully and follow the instructions when using any type of chemical product. By taking these precautions, you can help to keep your child safe from harm.

Kids will be kids, and that means they are going to explore their world without consideration for their safety. While your home is usually a safe place to be, there are some things to store away to keep your kids safe. If you put these three items away you can keep your children safe at home.

Have Your Kid’s Portrait Taken By a Professional. Check This Out.

How to Keep Your Home Healthy and Clean

It is important to make sure that your home is a clean and healthy environment. This will help you to be healthier and more comfortable as you’re spending time at home. This is especially important if you have babies or young children, since even minor problems can cause them to become sick. Here are a few tips that will help you to keep your home healthy and clean.

Maintain a Cleaning Schedule

First of all, it is important to maintain a cleaning schedule. Set a schedule for all of the weekly cleaning that you need to get done. For example, you’ll want to clean your bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms, and living spaces. You’ll want to vacuum, disinfect, clean, and more. You can split up tasks to make sure that something gets done every day rather than trying to get it all done on the weekend. Try to share the load with some of your family members if that will help you to get all of the necessary cleaning done each week.

Don’t Wear Shoes in the House

Another tip that can help you to keep your home healthy and clean is to avoid wearing shoes inside your house. Removing your shoes at the door can help prevent damage to your carpet. Having a clean carpet can be especially helpful when you have small children crawling around a lot. It can also help you to avoid tracking allergens and bacteria that might be present in different outdoor areas.

Do Yearly Cleaning Maintenance

There are certain cleaning tasks that are more in-depth that you’ll want to take care of yearly. These maintenance tasks will help you to keep your house clean even though they will take a little bit more work. For example, you should have your air conditioning ducts and vents cleaned regularly to get rid of any dust or debris that might be stuck inside. If these ducts aren’t cleaned, your AC units could be blowing a lot of dirty air into your house. You can also always hire a professional for extra help and experience.

So, if you’re trying to make sure that your home is a healthy and safe environment, remember this article. Make sure that you maintain a cleaning schedule, don’t wear shoes in the house, and do yearly cleaning maintenance. This will help your home to be a healthy environment for all of your family members living at home.

Check out this article on how to get your child to adopt healthy habits!

Ingredients to Watch for in What Your Children Consume

Kids love junk food – that’s just a fact. And they’re not the only ones! As a parent, you need to watch and make sure that your kids are getting the nutrients they need. But you should also make sure that they avoid other substances that can be harmful in high amounts.

Food Dyes

Food dyes are found in many, many foods – even those you may not have expected. This is especially true in America, where even groceries tend to be highly processed. The foods marketed for kids tend to have brighter and more whimsical colors. The problem with certain food dyes is that some evidence suggests they can be bad if ingested consistently and in high amounts. They are, after all, constructed from petroleum – and some even contain benzene, which is a carcinogen. Official scientific results may be inconclusive but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Added Sugar

This one is another ingredient that turns up far more than you would expect in your groceries. Again, this is especially true for kids’ food, since kids are naturally going to gravitate toward eating more sugar. You’ll come to see this everywhere: cereal, puddings, desserts, deli meats, white bread, fruit juices, and more. Fruit juice usually has added sugar and can be acidic on teeth – so that’s one option you want to look out for. It can be sometimes more expensive to get the healthier option. It can also be harder to convince your kid to eat it. Remember, sugar in its entirety is not bad. But added sugar and other artificial sweeteners should generally be avoided.

Sodium

There’s nothing kids love more than a tasty, salty snack! Chips, pretzels, cheesy crackers, goldfish, Chex mix – the list goes on and on – are beloved by kids everywhere, and for good reason. The problem comes when nothing is eaten in moderation. Many products of this kind contain abnormally high amounts of sodium. When eaten frequently over the course of years, sodium can contribute to heart disease and other health problems. Try and find tasty alternatives like nuts or low-sodium versions of the treats they know and love.

It always pays to read the label. Learn how to recognize both beneficial and problematic notes on a food’s packaging. Additives legally have to be cited. As you make sure your child gets the best diet they deserve, you will ensure a happy future.

Check out this article on common things kids get teased about and how to help them!

3 Unexpected Benefits of Maintaining a Clean Home

Cleaning is probably not high on your list of favorite things to do, but it's important to find time to clean if you have children in your home. As you’ve probably noticed, kids are experts at making messes. Actively setting aside time to clean your home offers benefits for both mental and physical health. When done right, the results will feel worthwhile, rather than like you’re trapped in an endless cycle of chaos.

It Will Make You Happier

Believe it or not, cleaning and tidying actually make you happier. Scrubbing toilets and mopping floors may not offer glee when you are performing the tasks, but having a clean, tidy home will make you happier in the long run. You'll find that you take pride in your residence and derive more comfort there. A cleaner home generally means more productivity and focus, and that makes any mom happy. You can find things faster and not feel constantly overwhelmed by a mess. Finally, a clean house also decreases your stress levels because it reduces your subconscious load. And as the saying goes, when mom’s happy, everyone’s happy.

It Will Keep You Healthier

A clean home is a healthy home. Aside from keeping mold, bacteria, and viruses in check, regular cleaning keeps pests at bay. Dirty, damp clothes left in piles breeds bacteria, and food left on countertops offers incentives for roaches, mice and other pests. There are more kinds of mice than you might expect, and they all can make your family sick. They leave droppings throughout your home, so you'll want a clean environment that won't attract them or offer them a place to hide. Cockroaches also love messy houses, and keeping your home clean is one of the easiest ways to keep them at bay.

It Will Give You a Routine

Motherhood is wonderful, but it also makes for an unpredictable schedule. To maintain a clean home, you need to keep to a cleaning routine. As crazy as it may sound, having a routine in place when you are a parent can help you preserve your sanity through the sleep deprivation, tantrums, and other havoc. Perform small cleaning tasks daily, and set aside a time to deep clean regularly. Your entire family can help. This will make your cleaning routine a family bonding experience, and you'll pass down the importance of cleaning to your kids. 

It Will Make You Sleep Better

You spend a third of your lifetime in bed. Maintaining a healthy environment not just at home in general, but in bed, is essential. Most experts recommend washing your sheets weekly, but it all depends on the season, the fabrics in use and personal hygiene and circumstances.

Compared to regular clothes, it is important to know how to wash a blanket specifically, especially if you are using the recently fairly common weighted blankets. Make your research and make sure you do this chore on a regular basis.

It's not easy to find spare time as a mom, but it's important to prioritize cleaning your home. The mental and physical health benefits are worth it, and it’s a great opportunity to teach essential life skills to your kids.

Fun Ways to Teach Your Children Responsibility

Children long to be treated like adults, but they can be rather reluctant to embrace responsibility. While your children may be too young to run errands or make their own meals, they can definitely learn the basics of responsibility. These are some entertaining ways to show your kids how to be responsible.

Assign Jobs With a Reward System

When your kids are old enough to start helping around the house, you need to figure out which chores they're able to handle at their given age, according to Cozi. Suitable chores for younger children could be replacing the trash bag, while preteens and above could be responsible for running and emptying the dishwasher. Some form of compensation is good as well, such as a weekly allowance based on successful completion of chores or having certain privileges tied into whether or not chores are accomplished. You should also set out certain parameters for what it means to do a task successfully and when it needs to be done by. Your kids need to learn the importance of doing chores in a timely fashion, correctly.

Get a Dog

Owning a dog gives your family a new member to dote over and your kids a great opportunity to learn responsibility. If your kids want to call the dog theirs, they need to take part in the caring and training. When helping your kids train your dog, they will likely be giving the dog several treats, so it’s important to pay attention to what’s in them. According to VitaLife, you should make sure to mind the ingredients and consider the size and calorie count in order to keep your dog healthy. Even though your kids won't be able to fulfill every bit that comes with taking care of the dog, they can absolutely learn about responsibility as they and their dog grow up.

Let Them Call the Shots

Your kids might feel like you're pestering them with your reminders to do things like getting their schoolwork in order and brushing their teeth, so you can let them give you a taste of your own medicine. Ask them to remind you to do things like going to the grocery store and even when it's time for you to brush your teeth. Getting to feel like they're in charge can do a lot for a child's self-esteem. It can also help them to become responsible leaders in the future.

Being responsible involves understanding what you need to do and when you need to do it. Children can learn to see the beauty of responsibility by being cognizant of its positive results and realizing that being responsible means being mature. These methods take the stodginess out of responsibility and allow your children to make a far smoother transition into adulthood.

Want to preserve the memories of your kids’ magical childhood before they grow up too fast? Book a child couture portrait session with us!

Developmental Issues to Watch for in Your Child's First Months of Life

Every parent wants the best for their baby. As the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months, you will be eagerly awaiting the milestones. Baby's first smile, baby's first laugh and baby's first time cooing are unlike anything else for parents. But there are certain developmental issues to keep an eye out for during your little one's first months of life to ensure everything is on track.

Muscle Stiffness or Softness

Babies' bodies tend to be soft and fragile at the beginning of their lives, and that isn't worrisome to start. As the baby grows older though, it is important that she is able to lift her head and later her shoulders. If you notice that your baby is having a difficult time lifting her head during tummy time or that her muscles seem rigid during the small moments of playtime you incorporate in the beginning, you'll want to let your pediatrician know as it could be a symptom of cerebral palsy.

Lack of Hearing

Normally, hearing problems are diagnosed in the hospital. However, sometimes hearing issues show up later in a baby's life. According to Black Hills ENT, hearing loss is the No. 1 birth defect in America and many studies have shown that early diagnosis of hearing loss is crucial to the development of speech, language, cognitive, and psychosocial abilities. It is important to talk to your baby regularly and be sure she is responding appropriately. If you notice something seems off, do not delay in contacting your baby's doctor.

Eye Problems

Some eye problems are detectable at birth, such as eye shape deformities. Other eye problems develop later, though. These eye problems can range from visual impairment to total blindness. According to All About Vision, your baby should be able to track movements by two to three months old. If they aren’t tracking movements, you should get that checked out. Catching visual impairments early leads to earlier intervention, which can help prevent an array of problems from arising later in the future, such as chronic headaches.

You are already vigilant about your baby's health. Being aware of these developmental issues will add another layer of protection to your bundle of joy. Many developmental disorders and complications can be treated or even cured if caught at an early age, so be sure to keep your doctor informed about any potential problems you are noticing.

More Developmental Delay Facts

Believe it or not, most developmental delays do not have a known cause. Most people are aware of the dangers of smoking or drinking alcohol while pregnant. But infections during pregnancy tend to increase the risk of developmental issues in babies. While you are expecting, pay close attention to changes that seem “not quite right” and, of course, check in with your doctor immediately.

Little ones are a precious gift. Let us help you preserve those memories!

Meet Los Angeles Lactation Specialist Julie Matheney.

In my work, I meet many new moms who are breastfeeding their child. Many are aware or have had some education about lactation and what to expect. But in my experience, there are many moms who do not begin their first Motherhood experience with these tools. Knowing where to go for instruction on breastfeeding is important. For this blog, I interviewed one lactation specialist in the Los Angeles area who is available to provide support and training for new moms. You can find her on Instagram

Q: Let’s start with your name. What is your name? Tell us

3 or 4 things about you.

A: My name is Julie Matheney. I started my career as a speech pathologist feeding preemie babies in the hospital NICU but fell in love with working with breastfeeding mamas and now do that in private practice. I’m a mom to two little girls. My husband and I love to travel and now enjoy taking our girls on adventures with us. 

Q: For those who may not know, what exactly is a

lactation consultation? Can you take us through a

typical consult?

A: There are several types of lactation consultant certifications, kind of like there are different kinds of nursing degrees, types of doctors, or fields in engineering. The gold standard for lactation consultants is an IBCLC. it means they have taken significant college level courses, spent hundreds of hours being mentored in breastfeeding and have sat for a four hour board exam. An IBCLC lactation consultant works with any and all issues related to breastfeeding, including helping people who have never been pregnant to induce milk supply for adoption, relieving breast infections, increasing milk supply, teaching you how to position your baby and helping your baby to latch properly at the breast. Lactation consultants can teach you about breastfeeding while you’re still pregnant and help work with you for the entire length of time your baby feeds from the breast. In a typical consultation, we review your relevant medical and labor/delivery history, see a feeding, and develop a plan for improving breastfeeding. We typically will weigh the baby before and after a feeding to get an approximation for how much baby is taking each time they breastfeed. An average consultation is an hour and a half.

Q: I know from being a newborn photographer, that

breastfeeding can be really difficult. In your view,

what are the most common issues that moms face

that you can help with?

A: Breastfeeding is natural but it takes practice. You’ve never done it before and neither has your baby. The most common issue is position and latch. So many people have never held a baby, let  alone a newborn, and it can be intimidating to try to position them at the breast. So many moms worry they’ll hurt the baby when moving them. Babies are actually really sturdy! If you get a baby in the right position, the latch is quite easy. The second most common issue I see in my practice is tongue tie: when there is a small piece of connective tissue under the tongue preventing it from moving fully. Tongue tie can cause damage to moms nipples and limits the baby’s ability to remove milk from the breast. When less milk is emptied, less milk is made, so many moms think they have no milk supply and blame themselves instead of the baby’s inability to effectively feed. 

Q: Breastfeeding is a huge issue.

Not only is there the issue about moms learning how to breastfeed and

or the baby to learn too, but there are also political

issues it seems. Are you involved in any political or

social activities to promote women in this work? Can

you tell us about it?

A: I’m not in any organized groups currently but try to spread the positives of breastfeeding through prenatal breastfeeding classes, awareness through social media, and working alongside individual mothers in their homes. 

Q: In my work, I have seen moms seemingly torn about

breastfeeding...one the one hand, they know they

should, but on the other  they are embarrassed or

feel awkward. Are these feelings common? Can

women find support for these feelings?

A: In my experience, 100% of mothers feel inadequate in some part of their motherhood journey. We take our responsibility seriously and with breastfeeding so often feel like a failure when it doesn’t go 100% perfect 100% of the time. Even when breastfeeding is going really well most mothers will find something they are unsure about. It is very very common to feel inadequate. You are not alone. The best place to find reassurance in your abilities is in a local breastfeeding support group where you can find other moms going through the same thing. 

Q: What is the number one question you get from new

moms?

A: I get asked all the time if moms need to wait for the breast to fill before feeding their baby. This is not needed. In fact, the beast works opposite of that: the more it is emptied, the faster it actually fills. The breast works on demand. The more it’s emptied the more it will make. There is no need to wait to feed your baby. If you are concerned about your milk supply, it is best to schedule an appointment with an IBCLC to help you get back on track. 

There is a lot to know about breastfeeding. This short interview is just the tip of the iceberg. Start today by visiting LALACTATION and schedule your consultation.

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Children's Songs Your Kids Will Love

Today, kids are all about media. Between videos and pics on cell phones, it is almost impossible to grab their attention in any different way. Today, I want to let you know about an album of children’s songs that can keep up with the contant competition for attention.

Tumble Bee by Laura Veirs: The Bottom Line For Children’s Songs

This is a great album that has 13 tracks and offers a substantial variety of meters, tones and sounds. Two of the tracks “Down in the Medder” and “Prairie Dream” are instrumentals. This is an attractive feature, especially if you are looking to introduce toddlers to music without any words.

Songs That Are Playful

Tumble Bee has at least three children’s songs that are “catchy”. The tune is fairly easy to pick up, “The Fox”, “Why Oh Why”, and “Little Lap Dog Lullaby” are the ones I might use in a classroom setting, or at a party to break the ice.

The Fox is a super fun song and is sure to cheer up a pouting person. It would also be a great way to start a play date if you felt your kids were shy. The song is easy to learn, is similar to Old McDonald in some ways, and catchy. Your kids will be humming to themselves in no time. This tune would also make a great song to play as you head out on a road trip.

“Why Oh Why” is set to a beat of three; a fast three, and it is fun to sing. Why can a bird eat an elephant? Why can a mouse it a streetcar? Why does a horn make music? These are a few things your kids will find out in this delightful song.

“Little Lap Dog Lullaby” is a bit of a misnomer, if you ask me. It is fun and addictive. Not something that would make most kids sleepy. Though does resemble famous lullaby lines like “Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird“, the pace and lyrical elements make this tune too fun to fall asleep to.

Songs That Are Fast

“Jack Can I Ride” showcases a Scott Joplin like piano accompaniment. The words are fast paced and may take a few times around to learn so your toddler can sing along. About midway through the song sports a square dance feel with fiddles and all. Be careful or you will find yourself saying “Do Si Do”.

“Soldier’s Joy” does feel like your little ones could square dance to it. While slower than the traditional square dance version, it takes pretty intense verbal skill to say the words as fast as Laura Veirs does. There is also a male voice on this song so your kids can hear both singing together.

Jamaica Farewell is included in the songs that are fast paced. In reality, it is slower than the others in this section. But I included it here because the lyrics are sung fairly quickly and may take little ones a while to learn. The calypso sway and imagery of the words makes this children’s song the right thing to do for almost any occasion.

Katie is a baby and child photographer in Los Angeles. Contact her today to book your child’s portrait session.

Why You Should Give Your Child An Allowance

How Allowances Can Help Parents

As a teacher, I had to manage 20 plus kids all day for 180 days every year. And most of the time, this meant getting 20 people to do things they would prefer NOT to do. So how do teachers manage kids and have careers that last 20 years or more? Trust me when I say using too many words is NOT your friend. Yelling and screaming is not your friend.

Part of the way teachers get kids to do things they don’t naturally tend to do is by setting up consequences. And this is where YOU come in as a parent. This is where giving your child an allowance can help you manage them now, and in the future. The reason it works is because it builds on two key factors kids need (1) Empathy and (2) Consequences.

What An Allowance REALLY is

An allowance is something given to a family member. It is a gift. Many people believe that allowances should be earned for working around the house. In other words, paying kids to do household chores. But in my experience as a teacher, what this does is send the message that kids are not really part of the family. Being part of a team, or a family, means that certain things have to get done, for everyone. Chores are something family members are expected to do. Shopping, cleaning, homework are all things that families do. Chores are what make kids feel needed and that they are and integral part of the family. “I am part of this family, and I need to help run our life together”. That is the ultimate message chores send kids. Your kids are not service providers. They’re family. It is expected that they contribute to the success of the family’s well being.

Empathy and An Allowance

Empathy is something that is necessary for all parts of life. But ironically, it does not occur to kids to be empathetic naturally. It is a skill that has to be taught. To understand what another person feels is something we learn to do. And ultimately, being able to be empathetic leads to a happier and more productive life. It allows for more meaningful relationships. Ultimately, empathy is the key skill to happy living.

So, when you give your child an allowance, you are saying, “I understand how you feel about wanting things. I want things too. Everyone wants things. So because you are part of this family, I am going to give you X amount per week. You can save or spend your allowance as you wish (providing it is not illegal).” In doing this, you are modeling empathy. You are also setting the stage to teach how to handle life’s frustrations and realities.

Let Your Child Spend Their Allowance As They Wish

It is normal to want to put restrictions on what kids can do with their money. As grown ups, we know how hard money is to come by. But the truth is, money is one of those lessons everyone has to learn the hard way. It is almost certain you child will misallocate or spend all their money way before their next allowance pay date. When that happens, your chance to model empathy again AND teach how to deal with unpleasant consequences will arise. Here is a possible exchange that may happen:

KID: Mom, I need my allowance again. I want to buy X.

MOM: Me too. I need my paycheck again. I want to buy X. You get your allowance on Friday.

KID: No Mom, really. I need my allowance. Other moms give their kids their allowance early.

MOM: I understand about needing money. And you get your allowance on Friday.

KID: Mom, C’mon. Just this one time. I really need to buy X.

MOM: I can relate. I need to get my hair done. And you get your allowance on Friday.

If this kind of exchange continues, you can ask “What do you think my boss would say if I asked her to pay me early like this”. “What do you think you need to do so you always have money to buy things with your allowance?”

In this dialogue, you are teaching your child the value of money and the consequences of how it feels to have no money. You are also empathetic. But there is no yelling, or shaming or telling your child they should have done this or that. It is all implied. Your child is getting the message. You love them, you will pay their allowance on Friday, and you understand what it is like to run out of money. That’s a lot of life lessons being taught. So use an allowance as a way to manage behavior and show your kids how much you love them.

Some of the ideas in this blog post are from the book Love and Logic

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